Save Us, Jack Donaghy

We haven’t blogged much about the presidential campaign of late. You’re welcome. But this week, as Hillary Clinton (or at least her advisers) appear to be slowly accepting defeat, there’s been some worthwhile analysis. It’s always intriguing to see what the objective Brits at The Economist have to say about the wacky American politicians, and Time has an uncommonly good piece about the calculated moves on Obama’s path to success. Plus, the conversation about the race between journalism giants Bill Moyers and Charlie Rose is worth watching.

And while the media’s got its eyes superglued to Hillarack, one Mr. Alec Baldwin might be staging his great political coming out … one can only hope.

But Who’s Signing the Checks?

With all these reports of questionable medical experts showing up on public broadcast shows, we’re wondering if maybe we should just take two aspirin and call back in the morning. Salon reports on a PBS show featuring Dr. Daniel Amen, who posits that Alzheimer’s is curable — the problem is, the show is produced by Amen with very little vetting, and it sort of looks like an infomercial. And all this just days after Slate told us that public radio show The Infinite Mind had strong ties to drug companies. (Thanks to current top Brijiteer John Lister for the heads-up!)

Speaking of conflicts of interest, The New York Times weighed in on former Bush honcho Karl Rove’s transformation into a pundit — he’s offering advice on the airwaves and pages of Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. And while his tips for Barack Obama were only so-so, he wrote a colorful profile of John McCain, someone on his side of the aisle. The Times piece points out that even if he’s not really independent, readers know what they’re getting into with Rove. Want to read them for yourself? Start here.

Maternal Affairs

Mother’s Day is Sunday, which means procrastinators are buying last-minute cards, florists are putting their game faces on, and siblings are trying not to wring each others’ necks as they fight over where to take Mom for brunch. And as anyone with siblings knows, at times like this it’s best to have an arsenal of insults at the ready — like the one we Dugg up — the more original, the better.

For those of us with dysfunctional families, it’s refreshing to hear about those that make ours seem like Ozzie and Harriet — like the Paskowitz family, all 11 of whom lived in a camper and traveled around surfing. (“Gnarly barrel, Ma!”) Or Margot Livesey, whose story in Vogue details how she escaped her actual family and adopted another. And then there’s the confrontation between a born-again Christian and his lesbian sister on an especially good familial episode of This American Life from last month.

The best Mother’s Day gift? Write a book about Mom, like Jimmy Carter did. But since time is short, yours can be made out of construction paper, for old time’s sake.

On The Daily Show, No Laughing Matter

John McCain joined The Daily Show last night, rounding out its run of hosting one presidential contender in each of the past three months. It was a flimsy ordeal of dodged questions and easy answers, and while the interview marked the Arizona senator’s 13th visit on the show, familiarity wasn’t the only reason for Stewart’s slow pitches — the other candidates got the same treatment. When Barack Obama came on the show in April, he similarly used it as a platform for talking points, while Stewart salvaged the interview with some apolitical zingers (including one about Obama enslaving the white race). And like Obama’s, Hillary Clinton’s visit in March was also plagued by a lagging satellite feed, which meant Stewart again had to yield to the candidate’s sound bites.

Granted, you can’t expect any presidential hopeful to pull a surprise this late in the game, when gaffe coverage has overtaken policy. And a TV professional might make the argument that staying germane to high-profile visitors will keep the guestbook full. But philosophy aside, Stewart and the show’s producers should ratchet up the pressure on political guests, if only for the education of its audience. The Daily Show is comedy first — as Stewart noted in 2006 during his brilliant plea on Crossfire — but it’s hard to make people laugh when you leave the joke-writing up to senators.

Making a Joke of Justice

In case you forgot, the US is still holding people at Guantanamo Bay without telling them why — 775 detainees to be exact since 2002 — and the Washington Post reports that not a single one has gone to trial, and President Bush ain’t likely to make it a priority in his last year. (And don’t forget the March three-dot piece from the Los Angeles Times describing a day in the life of a Guantanamo detainee.) What’s equally horrifying, The New York Times uncovered that 66 people died in immigration custody in less than four years, including a man who died in a coma after suffering a skull fracture and brain hemorrhages. These two pieces are enough to make you agree with the lately-ubiquitous Fareed Zakaria, who’s on the PR tour for his book, The Post-American World. Watch his Daily Show interview — at least there’s a bit of Jon Stewart’s humor thrown in to an otherwise bleak reminder that America’s international reputation is in shambles.

In Profile

Calling The New Yorker a good magazine might be like calling the Beatles popular, but they’ve done a particularly commendable job this week, offering a quartet of profiles that span the artistic spectrum. We first recommend Alex Ross’ portrait of Alaska composer John Luther Adams, whose seismic symphony is literally conducted by the mountains that surround him. There’s also an unpretentious piece about London architect and designer Thomas Heatherwick, whose fluid, organic forms can also function. From the fashion industry we get a profile of top digital touch-up artist Pascal Dangin, and the story of Grant Achatz leads in the tragic irony department — the Chicago chef lost his sense of taste to tongue cancer but still pioneers in the world of molecular gastronomy.

Bachelor’s Degrees are So Passé

I graduated from college with a degree in English, which to some means I have a BA in absolutely nothing. I prefer to believe the parents and professors out there who claim that a liberal arts education is about learning how to think (yes, often at the expense of actual workplace skills). Perhaps I am naive; The Chronicle of Higher Education published a discouraging piece about the worthlessness of the bachelor’s degree. Graduation rates are down, the quality of the education is in question, and the degree itself means less and less. But for those still excited about heading off to college — and congrats on getting in, it’s harder than ever — the Washington Post offers a very basic primer about what to expect. The Post also printed a refreshing essay arguing that many of the students matriculating at top-tier schools are impressively brainy and ambitious — but not exactly kind. And as for recent graduates, take comfort (or not) in knowing that entry-level wages have been falling since 2001. You may be destitute, but you are not alone.

When You’ve Got a Hammer…

Dear New York Times: Last Friday you told us that — surprise! — rich people are feeling the housing crisis like the rest of us. And we didn’t even roll our eyes — we’ll walk a mile in their Manolos before we criticize. But when you file two reports, just a week apart, that lipstick and elective surgery are economic indicators, we have to wonder if you’re reaching for a story. Granted, we’ve all got pages to fill, and we’ll admit your profile of recession-friendly clothing chain Steve & Barry’s was a winner. Just don’t tell us on Monday that newspaper sales are depressed by the economy as well.

Gloria Gaynor Would Be Proud!

In business and politics, as in nature, only the strong survive. There’ve been some great stories of survival this week, beginning with a quirky piece in the NYT about a culinary expert who’s hoping to save rare species by putting them on the menu. New York’s cover story this week carefully dissected the controversial firing of Zoe Cruz, one of Wall Street’s most powerful women, and former heir-apparent to the CEO slot at Morgan Stanley. Perhaps Cruz couldn’t cut it in the competitive world of Wall Street, but some are crying foul, claiming the episode is blatant sexism. Meanwhile, there’s another brand of prejudice being perpetuated around the world: biobigotry. Do you swoon over charismatic megafauna — the big, furry zoo animals — and ignore — or worse, revile — the less cuddly organisms of equal ecological importance? You’re a biobigot, according to another curious science piece from the Times — or maybe you’re just a human with a healthy imagination.

Defining Elitism

In the wake of Bittergate, the chattering classes are taking another look at America’s elite — and deconstructing what the term “elite” really means. Politicians eschew the label, of course — cue the whiskey shots and Budweiser chasers — though Fred Barnes argues that Barack Obama is the poster boy for elitism in the US. (The Harvard Law School line on his resume is a dead giveaway, man-of-the-people Barnes contends.) Meanwhile, David Rothkopf describes a “global elite” consisting of 6,000 leaders and influential people, while John Renehan recently took up some prime real estate in The Washington Post to implore the sons and daughters of privilege to sign up for the armed services. Even if Little Lord Fauntleroy doesn’t join the army, it may be of some consolation to everyone else that the better schools in the US are increasingly looking to make the tuition burden easier for everyone defined as non-elite.

A Surplus of Sachs

Along with subsidized farmers, economist Jeffrey Sachs is one of the few people benefiting from the worldwide food crisis. He’s made a host of media stops for his ludicrously timely book, Common Wealth: Economics for a Crowded Planet, including one on Talk of the Nation yesterday that featured vivid description of Haitian squalor from photographer Tyler Hicks. But between authoring two pieces in Time magazine and appearing on a stinker segment on The Daily Show, his spiel can get repetitive (even if it’s the most important argument ever labeled “spiel”). We recommend Sachs’ interview with Charlie Rose, where the economist gets down to specific solutions like affordable fertilizer for third-world farmers. Meanwhile, if you’re looking for an on-the-ground view of the food crisis, Bruce Wallace penned an excellent report from the Manila slums for the Los Angeles Times.

Dirty Laundry

Money laundering alone may not grab headlines, but it’s playing an increasingly high profile role in all sorts of international criminal activity. A cocaine boom in Europe has fueled an increase in euro laundering — so much so that Jay-Z recently featured euros in a video, rather than greenbacks — while the rise of Macau as Asia’s Las Vegas has made it the go-to destination for money laundering in the Pacific Rim. Disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was caught paying for sex thanks to money laundering, and he could end up being charged because of his illegal wire transfers, rather than cavorting with a hooker. In fact, as the definition of laundering expands — and transfers of more than $3,000 must be reported — criminals are looking to new ways of moving large amounts of currency, including new forms of digital money (a favorite of child pornographers, Forbes reports), pre-paid credit cards, and good, old-fashioned cash.

Trapped!

It’s finally spring, and here in DC, that means we have a few precious weeks before it becomes infernally hot and humid. It also means we’re trapped inside our offices, wishing we were frolicking outside. But there are worse places to be stuck — take the poor guy who was trapped in a NYC elevator for nearly two days. The security camera footage on YouTube is enough to make you carry around a stack of good reading, some snacks, and a chamber pot, just in case.

Actually, though, elevator-guy didn’t have it so bad, if you compare his tale to Marie Claire’s story about the formerly subordinated Teressa Wall, whose testimony against Fundamentalist Latter Day Saint church leader Warren Jeffs has led to attacks from the church — and shaky custody of her children. Nor does it really compare to another harrowing story from the same mag, about “long-neck women” in Thailand who are forced to wear coils around their necks, trapped in the role of silent tourist attractions.

Maybe it’s time to head to the beach, so we can heed Adam Sternbergh’s surprisingly fun-to-read advice to un-trap our poor feet from their shoe-prisons — a lifestyle change we’re not likely to make if the ground is anything but sand.

Land of the Not-so-Free

You won’t hear any US presidential candidate talking about it, but prison has been in the news lately. Marie Gottschalk, writing in The Washington Post, discussed the two societies now developing in the US as almost 1 in 100 American adults is currently incarcerated. Add to that a recent piece in The New York Times, which reported that one-fourth of the world’s prisoners are locked up in the US; the land of the free leads the planet in both the number of inmates (2.3 million) and the proportion of the population behind bars (751 per 100,000, some six times the world average). Of course, not everyone sees this as a problem: The same week as these numbers came to light, the law-and-order types over at The Weekly Standard reported that crime in prisons is dropping, along with the general crime stats. On the other end of the spectrum is Italy, where many federal cases are dropped because they’re tied up in court for too long, a work furlough program worked so well one jail had more guards than prisoners, and one crimelord was let out of the stony lonesome because he was too fat for the beds.

Did You Just Double-Dip That Durian Chip?

Only a few months late, Gourmet is jumping on the snack review bandwagon. Their rundown of Malaysian bite-sized oddities suggests replacing your Cheetos habit with famously stinky durian-flavored crunchies, but it doesn’t measure up to Patton Oswalt’s doomsaying proclamation for the KFC Famous Bowl. If you do venture into the land of fishy-sweet edibles, be sure to snack safely — read Harold McGee’s report about a Constanza-inspired study on double-dipping. If each subsequent dip transfers about 10,000 bacteria to the bowl, you might be better off sticking to MSG.

What’s the Matter with Being Bitter?

Barack Obama’s recent comments about how Middle Americans are “bitter” and cling to God and guns have given the chattering class plenty to bloviate about in the post-Spitzer, pre-Pennsylvania primary epoch. Obama sounded suspiciously like Thomas Frank, author of What’s the Matter with Kansas?, a 2004 book that expounded for a few hundred pages on the idea of cultural issues trumping economic disparity in politics. Frank pens a witty editorial for The Wall Street Journal, updating his thesis for the age of Obama and the 2008 election, while Bob Novak keenly suggests in The Washington Post that Obama keep the concept but ditch the rhetoric. Meanwhile, The Economist’s man in Washington pragmatically suggests that voters will see through the petty controversy and consider the real issues at hand. Stay tuned — we’ll find out tonight.

Eye on the East

Monthly magazines take a while to assemble an issue, but National Geographic’s stunning May issue — about China and Tibet — is more than a timely stroke of luck. A peek at the bylines reveals some very well-known writers, including novelist Amy Tan and River Town author Peter Hessler, who contributes two stories. What does this mean? One explanation is that a forward-thinking editor reacted to increased attention to the area a few months ago and tapped these reliable writers; if they’re already working on books about China, they must have material that could be speedily repurposed into an article.

The May issue also includes two reprints that offer brilliant perspectives from decades past: one from pre-Communist China in 1971 and a glimpse at a young Dalai Lama from 1955. But our favorite piece in the issue was Lewis M. Simmons’ must-read about the Tibetan-Chinese duality of life in Tibet. Kudos to National Geographic for putting together a sharp issue, right on the news.

Remembering the War We’re Still Fighting

The five-year anniversary of the Iraq war just passed — that’s longer than the duration of many marriages in the US — but it’s looking doubtful that Iraq will take the US out for a nice steak dinner any time soon. For one thing, Iraq is not only politically broken, it’s also physically shattered: 20,000 of the country’s 34,000 registered doctors have fled the country since the US invasion, the Wall Street Journal reports. Four thousand US soldiers have died, another grim milestone in a conflict whose “enemy” continues to shift. The Washington Post ’s Harold Meyerson argues that the Iraq war is the first American war to have had several distinct enemies; first we fought Saddam and the Sunnis, then we fought side-by-side with them against Al Qaeda, now we’re fighting the Shiite forces aided by Iran. Plus, as Newsweek points out, our attempts at cultural diplomacy are in shambles — only three of 19 cultural embeds speak Arabic.

Well, at least it’s Friday.

Hot Writer-on-Writer Action!

A.O. Scott’s tribute to film populist Roger Ebert in The New York Times was more than just a sop to cinephiles; it was a rare peek into the (apparently tight-knit) critics’ circle and a nice treatise on the philosophy of appreciation. It also got us thinking about other pieces featuring writers on writers, the king of which is Wyatt Mason’s hyperliterate criticism of John Updike’s review copies of books — all done in Updike’s own hyperliterate style. Whew.

For the tabloid crowd, you’ll remember when New York magazine’s Vanessa Grigoriadis took things personally after Gakwer mocked her on her wedding day. Commentary revives classical music critic Neville Cardus, and Salon’s tribute to Norman Mailer was the best of the bunch that followed his death, as contemporaries like William F. Buckley and Marlon Brando (and the aforementioned Ebert and Updike) weighed in with fond, uproarious memories of the late rabble-rouser.

Money to Burn

While the recession has battered the US stock market and spurred Congress to dole out cash, the ultrarich continue to spend money like there’s no tomorrow. “When times get tough, the smart spend money,” one particularly clueless-sounding events planner tells The New York Times. “Short of our country going on food stamps, I don’t think we’re doing anything differently.” It’s a trend that the national media has helpfully been tracking for us plebs: Some people are having trouble getting their private jets kitted out, multiple kids are increasingly seen as a status symbol, and brands like Bottega Veneta and Coach continue to flourish and expand (though the more accessible-luxury Coach has seen its stock price tumble). Still, for everyone else, the Los Angeles Times offers a guide to haggling more effectively.

A Buffet of Criticism

The calls are mounting for world leaders to use Olympic leverage to pry China from its support for genocide in Darfur and human rights violations in Tibet. Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter and the Economist posted almost the same argument: countries should simply boycott the opening ceremonies, focus only on Darfur. There’s no reason to deny athletes their moment, the reasoning goes, and China is unlikely to budge on Tibet. Even our man, the ubiquitous Cloonster, would support that, while XM Radio host Joe Madison (aka The Black Eagle) is pushing for an out-and-out Olympics boycott.

Time tackles the Why? of the situation, noting that even if President Hu Jintao was willing to effect change (don’t worry, he’s not), the red-tape molasses of the Communist Party would hold him up. But the most creative shaming of the Olympics had nothing to do with genocide — Slate did some quick math to calculate that the Olympic torch’s 50,000-mile tour will burn a quarter-million gallons of jet fuel and spew six million pounds of carbon into the atmosphere. Oh, and the whole torch relay thing was started by Hitler. Think on that.

Mad as Hell?

Some say you have to be a little crazy to be a TV journalist. That idea is wonderfully illustrated by a New York Times Magazine profile of MSNBC host Chris Matthews, replete with the summer-blond anchor staring at himself on TV in a hotel bar and exclaiming, “Hey, there I am — it’s me. It’s me.” Somewhat less crazy was Matthews’ brief rumination on his grandfather (and local Philly politics) in Time, and perhaps Matthews should be given some slack for the recent beating he took over his comments about Hillary Clinton (also referenced in the Times profile). Of course, the pressure of getting paid millions to play a journalist on TV isn’t just getting to Matthews: Dan Rather continues the fight to clear his reputation of the stains of the Rathergate scandal, while negotiations about Katie Couric’s future with CBS were unceremoniously leaked to hungry TV news bloggers and reporters who somehow have full-time jobs reporting on reporting. With all this drama on the airwaves, maybe it’s time to start thinking about adding a new wing to the Newseum.

Polar Bears on the Brink

Here at Brijit, we like cute things, and we like controversy. This week, we got the best of both worlds with … polar bears. Vanity Fair reports that last summer the Arctic lost a half-million square miles of sea ice — that’s polar bear habitat the size of Texas and California combined. (I’m recalling that digital image from The Inconvenient Truth where the polar bear’s ice flotation device melts, and he hangs in the water looking forlorn.) So what? asks The Weekly Standard’s Michael Goldfarb, who wishes everyone would chill out about the cuddly ones. After all, there’s an estimated 400 billion barrels of oil beneath the arctic seabed just waiting to be got, and evidence of the polar bear’s demise is tenuous, he argues.

There’s another polar bear controversy brewing, but this one’s, well, less of a crisis. The BBC reports that the Berlin Zoo’s new baby polar bear Flocke is threatening the popularity of Knut, who has gotten overweight in his old age (he’s now a year old.) Perhaps Goldfarb and friends should get a good look at Knut and Flocke — in ten years, their Arctic brethren’s only habitat might be the caged variety.

Out of Jail, Free

The Los Angeles Times caught our attention yesterday with a must-read story about ex-con Ken Layton and his struggle to readapt to civilian society. Reporter Susan Brink peppers her narrative with “quotes” from Layton’s inner monologue, projecting a real-life image of convict mentality: “Do unto others before they do unto you.” The piece echoes an earlier one in New York about a Long Island community for released sex offenders. And The New Yorker has yet another heartrending detainment story, this time about the Hutto Center, a privately run center in Texas where children of illegal immigrants are kept away from their parents in prison-like conditions.

Phew. We know that’s a heavy bit of reading, so here’s a break: a real-life farce about Italian prisoners that couldn’t stay in jail if they tried.

Pontiff-icating

Pope Benedict XVI is making his first visit to the US next week, and the nation’s media seem happy to be distracted from the endgame of the Democratic presidential nomination process. Time’s excellent cover story this week takes a look at the Pope’s relationship with America, while The New Republic examines the Pope’s stance on immigration (and, of course, what his visit might mean for the presidential race). Still, not everyone is excited about the Pope’s visit — for example, the Rev. John Hagee, a prominent McCain supporter, has called the Catholic Church “the whore of Babylon” (a controversy The New York Times looked into this week). And for the curious, Time also recently had a rundown of what, exactly, will get you sent to hell these days.

Still, the most amusing Pope-related news comes from the Washington Post, which relates the tale of a YouTube video, a Pope bobblehead, a funny hat — and one unhappy Catholic spokeswoman.

A Different Kind of Cage

The New York Times ran a moving story yesterday about the Sabal Palm Audubon Center, a wildlife reserve in a Texas town that would be stranded south of the planned border fence. But the center’s exotic birds aren’t the only animals whose fate could be affected by an immigration crackdown; the meager population of jaguars (nearly gone from the US) would also take a hit. The Los Angeles Times raised this issue last week when it reported that Congress waived more than 30 environmental regulations for the border fence. But Time showed that sometimes a simple number can be most alarming, reporting that both George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton added an average of more than 230 species to the endangered species list each term in office; in seven years, George W. Bush has added just 59.

The Sporting Life

There’s no question that hosting the Olympics is a boon for international prestige. (As well as a cause for international controversy — just ask China.) Oil-rich countries in the Middle East are taking a break from scooping up trophy assets and troubled banks in the West and looking at the benefits of organized sport. Doha, the capital city of Gulf nation Qatar, is angling to host the Olympics in 2016; the country hosted the 2006 Asian Games and has already built an $8 billion athletic complex called Sports City. Across the Middle East, countries are using sports to boost national profile as they move away from economies based solely on oil — Abu Dhabi, for example, has constructed the largest permanent Formula One racetrack in the world. And Qatar is not alone in eyeing the 2016 games: Another emerging market, Brazil, is hoping to bring the games to the Southern Hemisphere.

But What About My Cocoa Krispies?

OK, OK, we get it: The economy is going down the tubes. Commodity prices are on the rise, and the crisis is reaching across the global food economy and into American kitchens. David Ignatius reports in the Washington Post that rice and wheat are at their highest real-terms prices since the 1980s. The New York Times’ Kim Severson tries to make lemonade, arguing that the crisis, having hardly affected produce, meat, and dairy, could mean a revolution in American eating habits, though it seems borderline delusional to think the current price spike will create a middle-class of Michael Pollan clones — would that wishing made it so. Perhaps to save some dough we should do like Slate’s Laura Moser, and get that high fructose corn syrup-monkey off our backs. Or we could avoid restaurants and heed Mark Bittman’s advice in the NYT and master that magic radiation machine: the microwave.

There’s No Science in Baseball!

After a gnarly offseason of steroid-infused discomfort, the fourth estate is celebrating the return of baseball. George Will in the Washington Post considers the neurological underpinnings of Cubs fans’ admirable masochism — 100 years of failure and counting! William Ecenbarger, also in the WaPo, waxes nostalgic about his first trip to a ballpark with his father (whose genes could apparently help him pass a doping test, according to Science News) back in the good ol’ days. But those were the good ol’ days of cheating, too, writes Roger Angell in the New Yorker, when getting an edge meant lowering the mound and shortening the fences, rather than taking a needle in the backside. Lower the mound? Sure, says the Brewers’ William Raasch on Talk of the Nation, but not to cheat; it’s a key to keeping up the orthopedic health of pitchers. Though if you really want them to pitch well, offers David Brooks in the New York Times, try this outlandish approach: discipline.

The Travel Media’s Two Cents

What do travel writers, who essentially cover a luxury industry, do when the economy takes a nosedive? Penny-pinch, of course. The theme du jour is tourism on a dime, as budget-traveler Rick Steves and Rick Seaney of FareCompare.com offer money-saving advice on Talk of the Nation today. Similarly, New Yorkers (and tourists) have some resources to work with, as The New York Times went budget grocery shopping last week, about a month after New York magazine printed their wallet-saving guide. Still, these recommendations pale in comparison to travel writer and voluntary vagabond Rolf Potts, who advocates drifting as the ultimate relaxing (and cheap) vacation.

Faces of Disorder

As Dana Priest reported in January in the Washington Post, some 2,100 American soldiers attempted suicide or inflicted injuries on themselves last year, about six times the number in 2002. Since then, post-traumatic stress disorder has been getting increasing attention in the media, from The Nation’s investigation of psychological pressure in the Marine Corps to Rolling Stone’s recent profile of the immortalized “Marlboro Marine.” Lance Cpl. James Blake Miller, one of the 500,000 veterans suffering from PTSD, puts a sobering face on the illness, likening his life upon returning home to being “locked inside a hell you can’t escape.” Meanwhile, the New Yorker’s review of Kimberley Peirce’s Stop-Loss — about a soldier who must return for a second tour in Iraq — pegs the film as possibly the definitive film representation of the Iraq War.

Eastern Promise

When the 26 members of NATO meet in Bucharest this week, they’ll discuss a number of pressing issues, including the group’s ongoing expansion into Eastern Europe. Writing in The Washington Post, Jim Hoagland looked at the behind-the-scenes political maneuvering. Germany wants to block Georgia and Ukraine from joining, and Hoagland argues it’s a move that inadvertently helps both Vladimir Putin and George W. Bush: The two leaders can keep their positions — Bush for expansion, Putin against — without having to do anything about it for the rest of their terms. Elsewhere, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld took to the pages of The Wall Street Journal to argue for the NATO expansion — discussing full membership for Albania, Croatia, and Macedonia, as well as touching on the Georgia/Ukraine issue. Meanwhile, foreign policy expert Ronald Asmus penned a think piece suggesting that the organization needs to overhaul its rationale for expanding, particularly in the face of a more dominant Russia.

Absolutely Flabulous

Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. were down-on-their-luck, regional fast food chains until they discovered “balls out postmodern gluttony.” The 1,400-calorie Monster Thickburger — which sports two 1/3 pound slabs of Angus beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of American cheese, mayonnaise, and a buttered, sesame seed bun — has helped boost the company’s stock price from $2 to $22. It isn’t just the drive-thru, either: Ballparks are increasingly looking at all-you-can-eat seats, where patrons can eat until they puke, in addition to ostensibly watching a baseball game. Dodger fan and funnyman Neal Pollack headed over to Dodger Stadium with an NPR press credential to explain how this is a rip-off for fans, in addition to taking a few years off of their lives. But living large is even extending to supposedly sophisticated food bloggers: The New York Times takes a look at a not-that-surprising development — food writers getting fat.

Less Money, Mo’ Problems

Wired editor Chris Anderson continues making the rounds to promote his free-stuff-online thesis, echoing the message from his March cover story. From photo storage to email addresses, it seems you can get nearly anything for free online — but many of these sites can afford the cheap goods by taking close notes about your surfing habits, info that advertisers prize. Facebook in particular has drawn criticism for its shopper-spying Beacon, which it has since amended (and added additional privacy features), Talk of the Nation reported. Alas, it seems the best things in life are not actually free; in a unique piece, The Believer prints “condensed copy” of an indie-film budget — and $3,000 of its $6 million goes to photocopies of the script.

Stay on Target

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be the biggest. While Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailer, has been struggling of late, Target has been humming along in second place. Letting the big guys take the flak for everything that is bad about big-box retailing, Target has been signing up hip designers, keeping prices low, and establishing itself as a go-to brand for everything from trail mix to sundresses. The retailer even found itself playing a bit part in a scandal during the GOP primary race: While governor Mike Huckabee and his wife were on their way out of the Little Rock governor’s mansion, they were listed on the store’s wedding registry in an attempt to furnish their new home. (Wedding gifts are exempt from ethics laws in Arkansas. The Huckabees have been married for three decades.)

The decidedly un-hip former governor of Arkansas notwithstanding, working with designers like Alice Temperley and Erin Fetherston has certainly brought cachet to the retailer, particularly among the younger, suburban set — something that could eventually be reflected in the retailer’s still-struggling stock price.

Regulators, Mount Up

The Bear Stearns bailout is prompting the chattering classes to ponder exactly what, if anything, should be done to fix structural issues in the financial system (or even if they do, in fact, exist). Paul Krugman, who’s been hammering away at deregulation, argues that the current financial mess is the fault of the erosion of oversight of our financial institutions. On “Fox News Sunday,” Glenn Hubbard (former Bush adviser) and Lawrence Summers (former Clinton cabinet member) duked it out from the right and left, respectively, while Newsweek spent its week asking everyone from Robert Rubin to General Motors’ Bob Lutz what to do about it all (a McCain advisor seems nervous: “Hopefully the stimulus package will help pick things up late in the second quarter or early in the third.”) Meanwhile, BusinessWeek is wondering if Hillary Clinton can spin political gold from the dross of the credit crunch.

On a more optimistic note, Charles Duhigg, writing in the New York Times this weekend, reassures everyone that there will be no second Great Depression. Or could it be that our economic system has become so complex that we’re going to be vulnerable to these crises for the foreseeable future?

Sprouting Fingers

Sunday Morning scored some gross-out points this weekend with its story about Lee Spievack, who regrew his severed fingertip using a “magic” powder made from pig bladders. But it gets better (or worse), as the program actually shows some less-than-appetizing footage of the regenerated finger. However, the story is several months old — we prefer Esquire’s more colorful report from October.

In other Frankensteinian news, a little while back University of Minnesota scientists grew a rat heart in a lab. And if all this weird science is too much for you, check out this piece about PatientsLikeMe, a social networking site for those coping with disease.

Breaking China in Tibet

With violence erupting in Tibet this week, the stars aligned to make China look especially naughty, and as the summer Olympics draw near, everyone’s favorite Communist giant is getting a thorough grilling from the press. The Economist examined the Dalai Lama’s role in the mess, arguing that the bespectacled holy man might be China’s only hope for compromise. Meanwhile, The Wall Street Journal took note of the tightrope that Olympic sponsors walk as complaints grow about China’s involvement in the Darfur conflict.

And then, of course, there’s the whole censorship thing, which everybody weighed in on. The Los Angeles Times provided a near-comic report on China’s latest PR campaign, in which the country plays victim to Tibetan aggression. The Journal and TechCrunch also looked at the Internet blackout (a world without Google or YouTube? Inconceivable!) — and how Google might respond.

So what do the Tibetans have to say for themselves? The Journal had a great piece about fired-up youth creating their own “Free Tibet” movement — sans the Dalai Lama. And there’s more trouble brewing: The New York Times ran a thoughtful piece about class strife between the wealthier Han Chinese and poorer Tibetans.

But if this week’s violent imagery has you feeling sorry for the Tibetans, take comfort in Saveur’s recent piece on the tea made from yak butter that sustains them in these cold, hard times.

War, What is it Good For?

Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of the start of the Iraq War, and the nation’s media have been flooding the zone. Ouside of the predictable “it’s been a success!” and “it’s been a failure!” op-eds, there were some more interesting angles. “Talk of the Nation” spoke with the producer for the New York Times’ Iraq-based blog, which includes man-on-the-street interviews with actual Iraqis. Tavis Smiley interviewed Rep. Patrick Murphy, the first Iraq vet elected to Congress, while BusinessWeek ran a feature on vets heading to business school. Salon took a look at the impact of the war on Iraq’s cultural and archaeological heritage, and Dana Milbank of the Washington Post attended an anti-war rally outside, of all places, IRS headquarters. (There’s plenty more if you still haven’t gotten your fix.)

For a truly moving assessment of the war’s impact at home, though, take a look at Esquire’s brilliant piece from late last year about an Iraq vet using pot to treat his post-traumatic stress disorder.

Oh, That’s Rich!

Is it becoming harder to join the true elite in the US? According to recent statistics from the IRS, one needed to report $104 million in adjusted gross income to be among the top 400 income-earners in 2002. By 2005, that number more than doubled to $214 million. Still, the upward shift among the already-wealthy has allowed Barron’s to report (with a straight face, apparently) that more and more people making millions would like to be considered “middle class” — those making $25 million to $50 million per year, for example, are merely “beer and pretzels” rich. (Tough break.)

So things are going swimmingly for Wall Street Journal and Barron’s readers, but what about those other countries with sky-high GDPs? Lest we become envious of wealth in other parts of the world, Ben Stein assures us that, despite growing wealth around the world, America is, and will remain, the richest country on earth. Of course, there is also some evidence of a trickle-down effect: According to The Atlantic (the one with Britney Spears on the cover), the slums and sidewalks of Kolkata (formerly Calcutta) are becoming a mere stopover on an otherwise upward trajectory as the city becomes more cosmopolitan.

Everyone Into the (Office) Pool!

Wondering how to fill out that NCAA tournament bracket? ESPN has some sardonic tips — pick schools that have tough mascots, celebrity alums, and that don’t graduate their players. Esquire has some general tips on sports betting, including “just fill the thing out” — no one likes the guy who says he doesn’t know anything about basketball.

If you’re actually looking for depth, there are plenty of player profiles out there to give you your fix. North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough leads the list of frontcourt players to watch; others include Luke Harangody of Notre Dame, Stanford’s Lopez twins, and Wisconsin’s Brian Butch, one of the more inspiring players in the tourney this year. If you like guards, look for Russel Westbrook of UCLA, OJ Mayo of USC, and, on defense, Xavier’s Stanley Burrell (ESPN the Magazine has plenty more). Not taking the court this year is rapper Lil Romeo — he won’t be handling the ball for USC until 2009.

A Mauling on Wall Street

Bear Stearns didn’t have Jimmy Stewart to keep its clients and shareholders from bolting last week, but the US government and JP Morgan have come galloping to the bank’s rescue. The Federal Reserve has effectively promised not to let the bank fail, while JP Morgan, relatively unscathed from the subprime mess, has agreed to acquire the troubled Bear Stearns for $2 per share — a price that is, amazingly, one tenth of Stearns’ valuation just three days ago. Paul Krugman weighs in on the situation, suggesting the Fed should have let Bear Stearns fail: The bank gambled on risky subprime investments, and allowing the institution to slip beneath the waves would “teach Wall Street not to expect someone else to clean up its messes.” Writing in the Washington Post this weekend, James Grant suggested that the Fed is a little too interested in Bear Stearns’ share price and not interested enough in global inflation — his smart piece analyzes how the US government’s bailout will affect the greenback. But we have yet to see any word on how billionaire investor Joseph Lewis feels about the flurry of weekend deal-making — the largest investor in Bear Stearns, he upped his stake in the bank last year to roughly 10 percent.

George Clooney Kisses and Tells, and Tells, and Tells …

We get it — George Clooney is a handsome devil. Every lady’s favorite piece of eye candy has been making the rounds. The New York Times Magazine put a rather bizarre photo on the cover of its special issue last week of Clooney spattered with mud (sadly, the story had far less dirt). Clooney apparently also had dinner with Time’s Joel Stein, who found him not only handsome, but charming. Esquire has Clooney googling himself, while Radar dug for gossip from Hollywood sources and came up with all sorts of anecdotes about Clooney’s temper.

If you’re looking for other cover candy, though, this week there’s a sensitive Brett Favre weeping on the cover of Sports Illustrated, a New Yorker featuring Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama getting friendly, and a new Vanity Fair featuring a frisky Amy Poehler getting personal with Tina Fey (hey, it’s more action than Playboy got from its interview with Fey).

So Many Zeroes

Three trillion dollars. That’s also how much the Iraq War will end up costing, according to The Trillion Dollar War: The True Cost of the Iraq Conflict, a new book by Joseph Sitglitz and Linda Blimes. The authors estimate that future operating expenses, interest on the money borrowed to pay for the war, proper care for veterans, and the war’s impact on the overall economy will actually cost $2.8 trillion to $4.5 trillion. Compare that to the Bush administration’s pre-war projection that it would cost $50 to $60 billion – whoops. (Even then-Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill’s off-the-reservation estimate that the war would cost $200 billion seems tiny.) And that doesn’t even count the $9 billion to $12 billion that has gone missing from the Coalition Provisional Authority.

The authors have gone on an impressive publicity tour: Stiglitz and Blimes have talked to Fresh Air about the book, had an excerpt published in Vanity Fair, and penned an op-ed for the influential Washington Post Outlook section. But they didn’t have to do the all the work themselves: Arianna Huffington and Bob Herbert also used the book and its conclusions for recent columns. And that’s the kind of publicity you just can’t buy…

The Tug of the Cape

Tired of defending your love of comic books to your naysaying friends? AV Club gives you all the ammunition you need with its exhaustive primer on V for Vendetta novelist Alan Moore. For serious doubters, Michael Chabon’s New Yorker essay may be the best starting point, as he strips the proto-hero down to his Spandex and comes up with some nifty symbolism. Some readers might even prefer a nostalgic testimonial, though we have to admit the real-life urban ninja is even more exciting.

The Consummate Professional

Just when the Democratic primary race had started to feel stale, politicos got some red meat in the form of the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal. For people living under a rock for the past 24 hours, the New York governor is alleged to have frolicked last month in a Washington, DC, hotel room with “Kristen,” a high-priced escort who is reportedly a “very pretty brunette, 5 feet 5 inches, and 105 pounds. ” Dana Milbank puts the event into the perspective of DC history — Franklin Delano Roosevelt used a room on a nearby floor to pen some of his best-known speeches — while Daniel Gross compares Spitzer’s transgressions to the crimes of the Wall Street crooks he made his name putting away. Slate uses the imbroglio to ask why prostitution is illegal in the first place. It’s humiliating, to be sure, but still not quite as bad as falling into a coma after being hooked up to “The Wheel” in a S&M fetish club.

A Cornucopia in the Arctic

With fears over the impact of climate change growing, Talk of the Nation last Friday hosted Cary Fowler of the Global Crop Diversity Trust, who discussed Norway’s Valhalla of crop diversity, the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. The conversation is mostly about the efforts of the world’s largest seed bank, which holds 100 million seeds. Back in August the New Yorker first picked up on Svalbard’s importance in preserving the world’s flora; while they offer great analysis, the New York Times’ piece just two weeks ago included the most astonishing pictures we’ve seen of the ultra-secure center. Of course, as important as biodiversity is, all those veggies we’re preserving would probably taste even better with a little butter.

Missing the Marx

With the Republican nomination wrapped up and Democrats pitting two highly popular, historically significant candidates against one another, the Beltway press is desperate for a provocative story to tell. In the wake of SNL’s much-discussed roast of the Democratic debate, the press gamely returned to their old standby: conflict. Hence Linda Hershman, for whom the whole race boils down to class struggle. Then again, it could very well be a question of race. Or gender. Maureen Dowd splits the difference, saying it’s about both race and gender, making it the “ultimate nightmare of liberal identity politics.” The Nation’s Katha Pollitt begs to differ, however, claiming that the real nightmare scenario facing the Democrats wears sensible shoes — and answers to the name Nader.

The International Language of Laughter

Comedy’s making news these days, and not just in the US. In Burma three-man stand-up comedy team the Moustache Brothers has gotten away with taking shots at the military junta, but two of the brothers have landed in jail for their jokes, and locals aren’t even allowed to watch the act — which is performed in a living room. Less political is 91-year-old Dr. Tangalanga, a beloved Argentinian funnyman who has been making prank phone calls for more than 40 years; he’s so popular that a third of his victims now recognizes him when he calls. Closer to the US, viral videos have brought stardom to Anita Renfroe, who offers up observational jokes about the foibles of life as a Christian soccer mom, while veteran Saturday Night Live comedy writer James Downey has recently found himself in the spotlight following his high-profile political sketches about the 2008 election. Replayed and discussed ad nauseum by the cable-television crowd, the SNL sketches have brought Downey some increased notoriety (but, as yet, no jail time).

A Scentsible Selection

If the results of Tuesday’s primaries left you looking for something to take your mind off politics, there’s plenty to fill your senses in the nation’s media outlets. The New Yorker’s olfactory article about perfumes will have you feeling like a kid again as you learn about the five senses. Audiences in Pyongyang were similarly stimulated last week when the New York Philharmonic took the stage, and Time was there to capture it in photos. Meanwhile, 3-D chalk artist Julian Beever showed off some of his dazzling sights on Sunday Morning. But yes, we’re leaving touch out of this one — we’re too distracted by that lingering taste of those bacon mints.

Super Tuesday! Again!

Today’s primaries in Texas and Ohio might — emphasis on “might” — determine the Democratic nominee. The chattering classes are saying that the economic situation in Ohio (which isn’t the greatest right now) could end up deciding the race in the Buckeye State. Steve Kroft from 60 Minutes, no doubt enduring multiple layovers, heads to the small town of Chillicothe to get the locals’ take on the election, while BusinessWeek looks at how the grim economic news could help the Dems (though it’s not clear which one). Buckeye Gail Collins posits that her home state might find Obama a bit “show-offy,” while her colleague David Brooks observes that Obama’s campaign themes are ringing true with the kids, what with their YouTubes and Facebooks and open-source software. Seemingly flying about it all is Michelle Obama, who is getting a lot of love these days — especially at The New Yorker, judging from its unreservedly positive profile.

All Bets Are On

With a recession looming, we’ve got to admit that putting a little money on the occasional sporting event is starting to sound like an appealing way to invest. According to GQ, you can’t lose with their advice (Rule 17: Losers bet alone). ESPN has a nice primer to help you clean up in your fantasy baseball draft, but if that’s too much effort, you could always bet on fishing — there might be a million bucks in it for you. And if leaving the couch still sounds like too much to do, you can always win some cash playing Nintendo Wii.

The End of the Fox Hunt

It’s an interesting story that you may have missed: Imad Mugniyah was killed by a car bomb earlier this month in a tony suburb outside Damascus, Syria. Not nearly as famous as Osama bin Laden or Carlos the Jackal, by the 1980s, Hizbullah-associated Mugniyah, known as “the fox” or sometimes “big brother,” was responsible for enough kidnappings, bombings, and hijackings to push him to the top of most-wanted lists around the world; his grisly rap sheet included the 1983 bombing of a Marine barracks in Beirut that killed 241 servicemen, the 1984 kidnapping of Beirut CIA chief William Buckley, and the hijacking of TWA flight 847 in 1985. In addition to Newsweek’s detailed account of Mugniyah’s demise, which describes how it could lead to more violence, the right-wing political pubs picked up on the assassination, as well. The Weekly Standard focused on Mugniyah’s ties to Al Qaeda and bin Laden, while the National Review looked at Syria’s role in the Middle East. Foreign Policy, on the other hand, provides an unrelated look at the next class of terrorists — and what the world can do about it. (Beginning, it seems, with re-framing the debate.)

The Meta Times: Bloggin’ About Bloggin’

Blogs are for everyone, it seems, as Talk of the Nation’s interview with Stuff White People Like author Christian Lander is riding high on our Most Popular list this week. New York Magazine also has a list of other blogs worth your time, including a DC-based Casanova and a confessional translation of The Iliad. Meanwhile, Utne Reader reviews some feminist blogs. But if politics is too polarizing for you, you can always turn to that classic Internet staple — pictures of cute animals.

Musical Diplomacy

Following in the footsteps of the Boston Orchestra’s ground-breaking 1956 tour of the Soviet Union, the New York Philharmonic this week offered a command performance to Pyongyang’s elite. Seeing as North Korea — often called the Hermit Kingdom — remains a relatively closed society in an increasingly global world, press reports about the event provided an important peek behind the DMZ. While The New Yorker covers conductor Lorin Maazel’s attempts to break the language barrier with music, the Wall Street Journal provides a detail-packed account of the trip; The National Review, predictably, criticizes the orchestra’s decision to travel to Pyongyang, while The Washington Post explores earlier attempts to bridge idealogical divides with music (including a performance by Pink Floyd that helpfully came a year after the fall of the Berlin Wall). Still, against all these attempts by well-meaning Westerners to spread democracy around the globe, Foreign Policy asks an important question: Does democracy really make you any happier?

Warning Shots

While the rest of the world lives in relative peace, we at Brijit have been tracking a coming storm, a growing compendium of signs of the apocalypse. Take for example David Matlock’s “G shots”: quick shots of collagen to a woman’s G spot that temporarily increase its size, making it easier to find. Some women are hooked, returning every four months (and dropping $1,850 each time). Other threats to humanity include people enlisting in the “citizen paparazzi” and selling bottled holy water. Still not scared? Well, there’s always those uber-destructive supermassive black holes charging through space.

That’s Super!

With a lull in Democratic primaries before the upcoming contests in Ohio and Texas, pundits and political writers have focused upon the role of superdelegates in this tight race. Raising the specter of a nominee chosen by superdelegates — those hangers-on, VIPs, political operatives, and party cadres who can cast their delegate vote however they please, unbeholden to any popular vote — Rick Stengel ponders the unlikely possibility that superdelegates would dare to go against the electorate, while other reporters look at the controversial history of the superdelgate. Lanny Davis even provides a first-hand account of his experience as a superdelegate, pointing out that they’ve always been seen as “independent” of the electorate, while Geraldine Ferraro offers her own, pro-superdelegate take on the situation. (Of course, both disclose themselves as Hillary Clinton supporters, the candidate widely considered to benefit from all this superdelegate maneuvering.)

Oscar, and the Grouches

Leading up to Oscar weekend, it seems Ellen Page and Juno are finished making the rounds; most of the coverage went to villain-studded Best Picture noms There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. Our own Best Oscar Reporting statuette goes to Premiere, which got up close with four nominated actors. But rather than fawn over favorites, most mags put out contrarian pieces: Time weighs in with some delightful naysaying, and the AARP shows whippersnappers a thing or two with its Movies for Grownups Awards. But even they can’t out-curmudgeon Vanity Fair, which, as usual, is stuck in the past.

Will the Real John McCain Please Stand Up? The Press Corps Can’t Seem to Find You.

John McCain and his Straight Talk Express seem to have a relatively smooth road to the Republican nomination — even if the Express itself could use a Pimp My Ride-style makeover, as a sprawling New Yorker profile of the candidate points out. But who, exactly, is it behind the wheel? The New York Times has a massive investigative feature today, but all it really tells us is that McCain seems to prefer blondes (as does New York this week). The chattering class is split; those on the left would like to strip McCain of his “maverick” image, while those on the right seem to be preparing themselves to hold their nose and vote for him. More interesting is Nicholas Kristof’s contention that McCain is too honest to be an effective political panderer, and EJ Dionne’s argument that McCain is wrong to think terrorism is the biggest issue facing the US. Of course, you could always try watching McCain on TV and forming your own opinion.

The Morning After

It’s not easy being the front-runner. Fresh off his Wisconsin primary win, Barack Obama finds himself leading Hillary Clinton in delegates, but under increased scrutiny from the press corps. Campaigning in Wisconsin, he was teased for skipping the blue-collar pandering (brats, beers, and fish frys), and giving a speech at a convention center instead. Across the US, numerous pundits are arguing that Obama is more style than substance, while others have examined his speeches for plagiarism. Writing from his perch at The New York Times, David Brooks looks at the candidate’s momentum and wonders what will happen “when the magic fades.” But then again, the primaries aren’t over yet. The Sunday morning talk shows were buzzing with party loyalists and testy discussions of the latest issues within the Democratic Party itself: Will delegates from Florida and Michigan be seated at the convention? And how should all those superdelegates vote?

Uncork a Winner!

OK, so you blew it on Valentine’s Day and didn’t get your hands on “the greatest wine on the planet.” Don’t fret; you can impress your friends at that Oscar party this weekend with some decent runners-up (hey, it’s an honor just to be nominated). All the demand for top vintages has created an affordable pocket of commendable bottles, and American oenophiles can now stay local, as enotecas — wine shops that showcase local wineries — are making their way stateside. Finally, round out your tasting with some chocolate, and make it milk, because the lighter side is making a comeback.