While the rest of the world lives in relative peace, we at Brijit have been tracking a coming storm, a growing compendium of signs of the apocalypse. Take for example David Matlock’s “G shots”: quick shots of collagen to a woman’s G spot that temporarily increase its size, making it easier to find. Some women are hooked, returning every four months (and dropping $1,850 each time). Other threats to humanity include people enlisting in the “citizen paparazzi” and selling bottled holy water. Still not scared? Well, there’s always those uber-destructive supermassive black holes charging through space.