After a gnarly offseason of steroid-infused discomfort, the fourth estate is celebrating the return of baseball. George Will in the Washington Post considers the neurological underpinnings of Cubs fans’ admirable masochism — 100 years of failure and counting! William Ecenbarger, also in the WaPo, waxes nostalgic about his first trip to a ballpark with his father (whose genes could apparently help him pass a doping test, according to Science News) back in the good ol’ days. But those were the good ol’ days of cheating, too, writes Roger Angell in the New Yorker, when getting an edge meant lowering the mound and shortening the fences, rather than taking a needle in the backside. Lower the mound? Sure, says the Brewers’ William Raasch on Talk of the Nation, but not to cheat; it’s a key to keeping up the orthopedic health of pitchers. Though if you really want them to pitch well, offers David Brooks in the New York Times, try this outlandish approach: discipline.